Dear Boni,

I need your help desperately; I don’t know what I did wrong! All of a sudden I have been creating the opposite of abundance.  Money does not flow into my life like it did, and I am digging myself deeper and deeper in the hole. My finances are getting worse by the minute to the point that I don’t know how to make ends meet.

What can I do to reverse this situation around for good? I have been working really hard on beliefs plus my intentions. I have been asking for help from all of my unseen friends but I do not seem to be able to get out of this rut. I read The Map again but I guess I am so overwhelmed with the situation that I cannot think straight. Please help me! What can I do?  

With gratitude,
Afraid and Un-abundant

PS. I’ve been working with different techniques and nothing seems to work like they did at the beginning.    

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Dear Afraid,

Oh I can feel your fear—and your desperation and anger too. And, Afraid, I am not at all surprised to receive your email. Why? Because I’ve been there myself. I remember early on, when things at first seemed to work so magically, and then, like a rug was pulled out from under me, it all fell apart before my very eyes.

And yes, it was petrifying! “What if this reality creation’ stuff doesn’t really work after all,” I thought. “Was it just luck that made things look up for a while? What was I doing wrong???”

My fear that maybe it didn’t work at all was the worst fear. That would have meant I had been a fool for believing in such a fairy tale. And even worse, that there was no “magic” in the world after all—nothing but luck, chance, and hard work. That left me feeling downright depressed and hopeless.

What happened after that?

Well, even though I was entertaining some doubts, I still knew, somewhere deep inside me, that it wasn’t a fairy tale—that we really do create it all. And I went back to the drawing board and got better and better at consciously creating my reality. And yes, my world did respond.

What can you do to shift your world back to abundance and joy? A LOT. Here are some suggestions:

1.    Understand why it’s happening – As much as it may seem as though the downturn in your finances happened out of the blue, it did not. As is evidenced by your reactionary response to the downturn, the energy of lack and scarcity has been there, hiding, all along.

Our emotions (connected to a subject, or thought) create our reality 100% of the time. And our beliefs are emotions (connected to thoughts) that are flowing energy into our world 24/7.

I understand you’re working hard, Afraid, at ending that energy and replacing it with abundance and prosperity. But it is important to…

 2.    Realize growth is a process – Your life will not change overnight—even if some things did change overnight. We have “time” in this reality for a reason—so we may learn how to consciously create. Time buffers a lot of negativity, and allows us to stay physical while we learn how to master a higher vibration.

Establishing patience and strengthening your knowing are critical components of creating a life of your dreams. And you learn that with lots and lots (and lots) of baby steps. Meanwhile, it will help you immensely if you…

3.    Eliminate your sabotaging beliefs – You see, Afraid, you are doing this correctly. You are consistent and persistent. However, if your beliefs are not in alignment with what you desire, all the consistency and persistency in the world will only serve to tire you out. You must take a close look at the beliefs you hold which may not be in alignment with your dreams.

What might those beliefs be? Well, just from the little you mentioned alone, I would guess:

I can only have so much abundance.
If I want too much something bad will happen.
It is greedy to desire a lot of money.
I can’t create 100% of my reality.
It’s not possible to create unlimited abundance.
I am not worthy of having a ton of money.
Money is not easy to come by.
I am not powerful enough to create abundance.
I don’t deserve abundance and a life I love.
Although it may seem to work initially, I can’t create my reality long term.

Your beliefs will create your reality. Every time. Whenever there is something that just “doesn’t make sense”—look to your beliefs. And beyond that…

4.    Have a “sit down” with your “selves” – Your negative self loves to play in this arena. They have so much fun when they can make you squirm and doubt yourself. As soon as there is one tiny thing in your world to worry about, your negative self will jump on the bandwagon and try to get you to turn any molehill into a mountain. It’s what they do.

When you’re creating a new dream (like abundance), it’s important to talk with your negative self every day. They’ll have lots of awful stuff to say about how you’ll fail. That is good news. Because if you give them the space to vent, they won’t be tripping you up.

Also, your child and adolescent may be mired in fear around your new dream to be free, abundant and happy. Unless they were absolutely free, abundant and happy themselves (unlikely), they’re going to be quite uncomfortable with you creating that for yourself.

Spend some time with these younger aspects of you. Give them what they needed at the ages they are…perhaps new parents. More love. More understanding. Greater security and safety. And definitely…give them abundance.

I gave my child and adolescent a “money machine.” They simply needed to press a button and $100 bills came out. They shifted from feeling poor and afraid of scarcity to feeling rich and knowing they were the ones in control of their financial security.

If you can alleviate their fear, you alleviate your fear. And after that…

5.    Remember…“downs” happen – If your plan is to create a world where nothing ever seems like it is going wrong, you picked the wrong planet. No matter how good you get at this, when you look to your reality there will be times where it seems like something is not going the way you want it to.

You need to get very, very good at not taking the bait. Realities do not fall into a straight line of “good news.” They sometimes take a circuitous route in their manifestation that (temporarily) looks like bad news.

This does not mean you should take such as bad news!

And this is part of the learning you came here to do. So…practice this mantra: “Whatever happens, I know it will result in my intentions manifesting in the quickest, easiest and most elegant way possible.”

WARNING: If you do not believe the above statement you will not create the results possible from the above statement. How do you tell if you believe it? Does fear creep into your being when you say or read it? That’s how.

The next issue to tackle is to…

6.    Let go of control – I know you would really love to see money methodically fall into your bank account, with little or no effort at all. And I would love that to happen for you. But I know better. It’s not that it isn’t possible – I know it is. I’ve seen people manifest banking “errors” in the hundreds of thousands of dollars and creating huge windfalls out of thin air.

But you can’t count on that.

Why? Because the minute you do, you’re trying to “control” the outcome. And when you try to control you shut down the flow of energy towards your dream. Control says to the universe, “There’s only one way this dream can come to me and this is it—I know better than you, universe, and so I’m going to control this dream.”

Not only is it not your job to control the dream, you also have no power to control the dream. Manifesting the dream is the universe’s job and it’s damn good at it. Why you would want to do a job that is SO out of your league is beyond me. Wait, that’s not true. I actually know exactly why you try to do the universe’s job:

You’re afraid.

You’re afraid that if you don’t control, you won’t get what you want. And you’re afraid if it doesn’t come the way you want it to, it won’t come at all. And I say…

Those are beliefs. Beliefs such as:

I must control the outcome to get what I want.
There aren’t unlimited ways for my dream to come to me.
I’m only safe when I control my world.
I may not get what I really want.
I’m not completely safe, secure, and abundant in my world.

 So get to the bottom of why you can’t let go…find those beliefs and change them. Then…

7.    Get clear about what (really) matters – You see, Afraid, you’re letting your desire for money make you all sorts of unhappy. And that is not a great idea. First of all, your unhappy stops the flow of what you do desire. Secondly, feeling unhappy sucks.

What really matters is that you have this day. THIS DAY. You will never live this day again. EVER. Why sacrifice it to scarcity, lack and fear?

Believe me, I know of what I speak. I was in your shoes. I did the same thing you’re doing. But then I realized I was giving my life to the fear. And I stopped. I decided I might have to be a bag lady, but dammit, I was going to be a happy bag lady.

And from that day forward, my own happiness was my highest priority.

Not that I didn’t care about the happiness of others, I did. And not that I didn’t pay attention to my world, I did that too. But I chose to be happy first and foremost.

And I largely used gratitude as a technique to find my happy. Faced with a $1000 rent bill due, and a $164.35 paycheck, I forced myself to feel grateful for (and powerful about) that paycheck. And I owned that I had created it. I was so powerful that I could make $164.35 come to me out of thin air.

And it didn’t take long before my world transformed. No, I never did become a bag lady. But I did (for the most part), remain a happy person.

No situation, no person, no fear, has the right or power to take your happy. It’s your right to be happy.

And the more you make that choice, the less power you give away to others and to circumstances. And, paradoxically, the more powerful you become. And as you continue to choose happy, try and remember…

You are the creator of your world.

Afraid, I hope these suggestions will help you to move from afraid and un-abundant to peaceful and abundant. I know they can. And I believe in your ability to make that happen.

In joyous creation,

The power to create anything exists within us—you are no exception. If you can think and feel, you can learn to work with energy to create abundance. The Map to Abundance will help you take your creation skills to a whole new level—the fully-conscious, totally-at-your-fingertips level, where money flows like water and joy is an everyday reality.