Dear Boni,

I am a girl from Asia, and I have spent my last few years studying in America.

During this time, I found out that I am more attracted to white men instead of men from my own country (not just because of the look, but also the culture, manner, etc.).

But my family and friends tell me that I should be with only Asian men. Also, it gets harder when I go back to my country, since there are fewer Americans there, than in the States.

Could I intend that “the person in my loving relationship is a Caucasian?” Would that be too specific?

Signed,
Happy for the Help

_____________________________

Dear Happy,

Variations on this question come up a lot. And the reason is, people get stuck in the details about the “outside” instead of focusing on what it will feel like on the “inside.”

Your situation illustrates this well. It is likely you are drawn to American men and the American culture because of the “essence” of it—the freedom, possibility thinking, etc. It is possible you have even had a past lifetime in America. You are attracted to that “resonance” and from the sounds of it, you haven’t experienced it much in your home country.

But what I know for certain is not all American men are the same, just as not all Asian men are the same. And to limit the universe by saying “I only want a Caucasian man,” may result in your not creating your best possible choice.

For instance, what if there were an Asian man who was absolutely perfect for you in every way AND he shared the same ideas and “essence” as American men (I know you may not be able to believe this…but that is just that—a belief). You might find it even more wonderful to have a combination of Asian background and American ideals.

And wouldn’t it be tragic, if that perfect Asian man were in the midst of creating his perfect mate, and refused to consider an Asian woman because he thought what he was looking for couldn’t exist in an Asian “package?”

Or what if there were a French man who was your ideal mate? Or a Latin man? You can’t know, Happy, what a wonderful relationship you could create, until you stop limiting it. And if an American man is really and truly the perfect one for you, and he shows up in your reality, well that’s OK too, right?

What you DO know is you want to feel happy, excited, loved, loving, intimate, joyous, cared for, expansive, adventuresome, etc. Let those feelings be your intention, and let the universe do what it does perfectly—handle the details.

That said, Happy, if NOT specifying an American man in your intentions makes you feel sad or unhappy, then by all means—go ahead and specify. Ultimately everything I teach should make you feel better, not worse. So if you really and truly need to specify an “American man” to be excited about this creation, then, girl, go for it!

It is your energy, after all, that will be creating your partner. And if that is where your excitement is, then follow it. I’m wishing you all the success in the world!

With love,

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