Wording Beliefs: A Case Study


By Boni Lonnsburry


writing-beliefs

When changing beliefs, three things are critically important:

1.    The old belief must ring true to you and have specific emotional meaning.
2.    The new belief must be in the realm of possibility.
3.    The old and new beliefs must be very similar as far as wording and cadence.

But it isn’t as easy as one might think, to make sure these qualities exist in each belief you desire to change.  Below are beliefs a fellow creator asked me to give her feedback on.  Hopefully my suggestions will help you, too, when it comes to discovering and changing your own limiting beliefs.

Her old and new beliefs:

Life is a bitch
Life is wonderful!!!!

My comments:
Although these beliefs are not bad, I would prefer if she were more specific. A “bitch” can mean a lot of things. So can “wonderful”. She is asking her subconscious to switch the two beliefs, and the more specific she can be in stating them (and feeling them), the more likely she will see changes in her world.
I would ask her, “What, exactly, does it mean to you when you say ‘Life is a bitch’?”
I would surmise it would be something like:

Life is filled with struggle, hardship, pain and scarcity.

A corresponding new belief might be:

Life is filled with ease, elegance, love and abundance.

Now the beliefs have specific emotional meaning. But remember, the beliefs must also ring true to the person who seeks to change them. I would suggest the writer works with the negative belief until it feels both specific and true.
I might also suggest adding “My” to the beginning of these beliefs. Why? Because it might be too much (i.e. unbelievable) to try and create everyone’s life filled with ease, elegance, love and abundance, which is what is inferred when it is stated as “Life is…” So the beliefs might be:

My life is filled with struggle, hardship, pain and scarcity.
My life is filled with ease, elegance, love and abundance.

But the bottom line is, how does it feel to the person who is seeking to change the belief? The negative belief should feel accurate. The positive belief should feel as if it’s in the realm of possibility.

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

I am flawed.
I am perfect.

My comments:

Since many of us have dealt with shame, believing we are flawed is a belief many will need to change. Whether or not the above belief would work depends on the person who is changing it. If “I am perfect” feels good to you, by all means stick with it.
For some, a thought might come up such as, “No one is perfect,” or “Perfect is impossible,” then maybe try these beliefs on for size:

I am flawed at my core.
I am perfect at my core. Or: I am divine at my core.

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

I am a failure.
I am successful.

My comments:

I would keep these beliefs consistently worded. Such as:

I am a failure.
I am a success.

I would also consider being more specific—just try it out and see which feels better. Such as:

I am a failure at life.
I am a success at life.
Or
I am a failure at everything I try.
I am a success at everything I try.

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

I am a victim.
I am a survivor.

My comments:

I would want my friend to be more than a survivor. A survivor sounds like someone “just barely” made it. It would open the door to creating multiple scenarios where she just barely “survived”. I would suggest something a little more uplifting and positive, such as:

I am empowered. Or
I am powerful.

I might also suggest being more descriptive here. A victim of what? Should the negative belief be something more like:

I am powerless

Or are you indeed a victim of men who might want to dupe you? In that case the belief might be:

I am a victim of the men in my life.
I am empowered around the men in my life.

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

I am not good enough.
I am good enough.

My comments:

Perfect!

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

I don’t deserve.
I am worthy.

My comments:

The subconscious wants things to make sense. I would not substitute one word for another if I had a choice. I would choose one word or the other. Or make it two separate beliefs and change them both:

I don’t deserve.
I do deserve.
I am not worthy.
I am worthy.

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

I am not smart enough.
I am intelligent.

My comments:

Again, I would not substitute one word for another. I would choose one word or the other.

I am not smart enough.
I am smart enough.
Or
I am not intelligent.

I am intelligent.

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

I am always broke.
I have money in abundance.

My comments:

Same idea here—in order for the subconscious to switch a belief out the two should be as similar as possible in wording and cadence. Try these beliefs instead:

I am always broke.
I am always flush.
Or
I have bills in abundance.
I have money in abundance.
Or
I never have quite enough money.
I always have more than enough money.

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

God abandoned me.
God is always with me giving me his Light and his Unconditional Love

My comments:

The wording on these beliefs needs to be more similar in order to allow the subconscious to switch one for the other in the most elegant and easy way possible. How about:

God always abandons me.
God always supports me.
Or
God is seldom with me.
God is always with me.
Or
God is never there for me—loving me, supporting me and guiding me.
God is always there for me—loving me, supporting me and guiding me.

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

My husband abandoned me with his affairs.
My husband is a wonderful man who loves me with all his heart and respects me.

My comments:

You probably already know what I am about to say…that these beliefs are too different in wording and cadence to change them easily in the subconscious. And that is true. But I also see more than one belief here that likely needs to change. Also, I don’t think my friend’s husband actually abandoned her (I could be wrong here, as I don’t actually know the facts) but I think the word “betrayed” might be more accurate. If she felt abandoned also, I would encourage her to handle that belief separately.
I would state the beliefs something like this:

My husband betrays me with his affairs.
My husband honors me with his loyalty.
My husband disrespects me.
My husband respects me.
My husband does not deeply love me.
My husband does deeply love me.
Men abandon me.
Men stick by me.

Also, I would consider changing the words “my husband” to instead be, “my partner,” or “my significant other,” or “The men in my life.” The reason for this is to open the door to the possibility that if her actual husband does not want to change, that she could create someone in her life who would respect her, honor her and love her deeply.
These new wordings still allow that this man could be her husband, and he may, indeed, change as a result of her changing her beliefs. But we cannot control others. We can only change our own reality. So I always like to change the broadest belief possible in cases like this.

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

Men are unfaithful.
Men are faithful.

My comments:

I don’t feel it’s probable that all men will ever be faithful. So I would change this belief to:

Some men are unfaithful.
Some men are faithful.

And I would add another:

The men in my life are unfaithful.
The men in my life are faithful.

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

Men are not trustworthy.
Men are trustworthy.

My comments:

Similarly to above, I think changing this belief to something, well, more believable will allow it to be much more effective:

Some men aren’t trustworthy.
Some men are trustworthy.

Again, I would add another:

The men in my life aren’t trustworthy.
The men in my life are trustworthy.

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

Men and their needs are more important than women and theirs.
Men are devoted, caring, loving, dedicated and committed to women’s needs.

My comments:

These are really two separate beliefs. The top one says indeed, men’s needs are more important. The bottom one says men take care of women’s needs—two very different things.
I would definitely change the first one:

Men and their needs are more important than women and theirs.
Men and their needs are equally important as women and theirs.

And for the second one, I think I would approach it like this:

I cannot create a relationship where we take care of each others needs beautifully and completely.
I can create a relationship where we take care of each others needs beautifully and completely.

Or, if I felt as if I were giving my power away to a man who had to care for my needs, I might approach it something like this:

I cannot take care of my own needs, wants and desires.
I can take care of my own needs, wants and desires.

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

Money is hard to create.
Money is easy to create.

My comments:

Perfect!

~~~~~

Her old and new beliefs:

All my life I have been sick.
All my life my health has been wonderful.

My comments:

Changing a belief like this is seeking to change the past. And while theoretically it is possible to change the past, one only has so much viable energy at any given point to use as best we can. And why would we want to use our valuable energy changing the past?  We wouldn’t.

I would suggest this instead:

I am a sickly person.
I am a healthy person.

Easy peasy, right?

~~~~~

I would suggest one more type of belief for my friend to change. Since she obviously is struggling with creating a loving, committed, trustworthy relationship (I know this one too), I would suggest a belief like this one might be lurking in her subconscious mind:

I am not worthy of a loving, committed, respectful, honoring, intimate and monogamous relationship with a trustworthy, wonderful man.
I am worthy of a loving, committed, respectful, honoring, intimate and monogamous relationship with a trustworthy, wonderful man.

~~~~~

Hopefully you can tell by now, writing your beliefs is rather an art form. But it is an art form you can master. Now go, get going…and change your beliefs. Nothing in your life will change, until you change it.

In joyous creation,

boni_sig



Boni Lonnsburry is the author of three books including The Map - To Our Responsive Universe, Where Dreams Really Do Come True and the founder of Creation School, a place to develop conscious creation skills into artistry.






Read the comments, or add yours

  1. sullijoe

    I commented elsewhere about the power of the placebo which is making it more and more difficult to get new drugs approved recently. This is the clearest demonstration of the power of positive affirmation; a momentary act of faith in an inert tablet can be so powerful.

    Reply
    • Boni

      I agree Sullijoe. It is proof (along with a ton of other scientific proof documented in quantum physics experiments). We DO create our realities!

      Reply

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